We're a little off course right now

 Ash has decided he doesn't want L to come any more which could have come as a huge shock but I'd seen the signs and was already making plans to head him off at the pass.

He's been quite grumpy with her for a few weeks, even before my trip away, and I've been wracking my brains as to how to deal with it.  This morning I had a light bulb moment and, it seems, in the nick of time.

You may remember that the original story was that he was being included in a study by the memory clinic where they were looking at how people with Young Onset Dementia spent their days and he was actually quite proud of this fact.  In fact he even went so far as to volunteer the information to some friends a few weeks ago so, of course, I'd begun to relax.  I really should have known better.

Anyway, the grumpiness started and then he was rude to her and then he began to ignore me when I got home each Thursday and I could see the whole thing start to disintegrate.  L and I decided to each have a think and see what we could come up with and luckily mine came to me in the early hours of the morning.  I say 'luckily' because Ash actually started to tell me at breakfast that he doesn't want her here any more but I had my response ready.  

My story now is that L is coming in order to help me out.  I'll leave her with things to do but ones that she can abandon if Ash decides he wants her company instead and we'll see how that pans out.  They'll also be jobs where Ash can join in if he wants or ones where she may just need a little help from him.

Keep your fingers crossed for me and watch this space to see how we get on.   

                                 

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Comments

CW said…
Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. Did Ash ever say why he no longer wanted L visiting him? I wonder how he'll accept your rationale if he actually has come to the position that he doesn't care for her company and finds it unnecessary (to his way of thinking, that is). Our lives feel like we're in a constant maze where there's a huge hand moving the walls on us just when we see an open pathway ahead. Will keep positive thoughts for you!
29 September 2021 at 01:12
Jane said…
He hasn't said but I think if I say that she needs some extra hours and I need help around the house he'll be ok. We'll see but that's the outcome I'm hoping for.
29 September 2021 at 07:52
Carol said…
My husband only accepted Carers coming because I told him they were helping me. In the moments when he had a little empathy he realised that I needed help. He is still unhappy about them being here when I go out, he cannot see that I need to do that. I have to think of things he will see as necessary that I have to do! Good luck with the new plan, I hope it works out for you.
29 September 2021 at 19:59
Jane said…
those are my thoughts exactly Carol. Tomorrow will be the first test so we'll see what happens and I'll report back.
29 September 2021 at 20:03
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