Another step in the wrong direction
Last night I was reading in bed when Ash came through looking confused. It was 11.30 and he'd been in bed for about half an hour but seemed to have fallen asleep then woken up and not known where he was. This has happened before so I didn't think too much of it but got him back to bed then sat ready to talk about what was worrying him. What I didn't expect to be worrying him was that he still had no idea where he was.
His words were jumbled so I messed things up a little just because I had no idea what he was trying to tell me but I waited and listened, trying to make sense of it all. Eventually he said 'I don't know where this is' as he threw his arms out and managed, with that one gesture, to encompass the room. 'This is home' I said. 'So this is where we live?' he responded, followed by 'how long have we lived here?' I told him we'd been here thirty six years at Christmas and reminded him, unnecessarily of course, that we'd moved in on 13th December and in the time between then and Christmas Day he'd ripped the kitchen out and installed a new one. There really was no stopping him in those days and the memory/words made us both smile.
I thought he'd settle down then but suddenly there was a new concern. 'It's nearly Christmas, where will we be at Christmas?' he asked. I replied 'we'll be here so there's nothing to worry about' but of course, even if we get over the worry of Christmas, there's no telling what new thing will appear out of nowhere to catch us unawares.
In the end it really didn't take long to quieten him, certainly not as long as it felt, but I'm now left wondering if I can persuade the television companies to keep their Christmas adverts for December.
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I hope you get new carers set up soon Jane. I was so sorry to hear that L let you down. I guess I’ve got all this to come. My partner was diagnosed18 months ago and we don’t use carers yet but his memory and reasoning has really deteriorated recently so I’m sure we will need to soon. Thankyou for sharing your ups and your downs I’m sure it will really help me to formulate my own plans and strategies - infact it already has in many ways. Xx