Updates are interesting

 So we really are without a carer at the moment which makes life a little bit difficult on a weekly basis but my biggest disappointment has been the cancellation of my week away at the end of the month.  However you'll be pleased to know that it's not all doom and gloom because a friend has stepped into the breach so that I can have one very long day out during that week and I have plans for it.

Because this friend hasn't stayed with Ash before I've been updating the information folder I first put together for Jake at the end of May and added to for L in August and that has been an interesting experience in itself.

Foolishly I didn't save the changes as a new document but will definitely do that next time because I've realised it's an excellent way of keeping track of where we are and how far we've come.

By updating that folder I've realised that it now takes a minimum of three cups of tea before Ash's head is clear enough for him to get dressed; that I have to tell him what to do when he gets downstairs eg 'get washed and clean your teeth', 'take Max around the church', 'now get your breakfast' ...........; that he doesn't notice anymore when he's used up all the bread in the bread bin, eaten all of the pork pie from the fridge or emptied the bowl of his special sandwich  mix; that if he needs to make more sandwich mix I have to put all of the ingredients onto the worktop before he can start; that he needs reminding to clean out the fire grate in a morning and takes no interest in getting any of the coal, sticks or logs in etc etc.

There are many more areas where Ash no long does the things he used to do but I'm sure you get the gist of it all just from that list so I won't bore you with more.  What I will say that it's not all dispiriting.  Earlier he was trying to tell me something and couldn't get the words out.  In the past frustration would have got the better of him and he would have exploded with frustration.  This evening I managed to fill in the  missing words and make him laugh by saying 'it's a good job I know what you're talking about'.

Now if I can only sort out that carer situation.

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CW said…
We have a garden railroad in our back yard. It requires watering every two days. Robert used to do it all by himself and then I began helping him. Today, I watered it by myself and when I came in, he told me that I was doing it for 'me' because as far as he was concerned, it could be taken out and done away with. I told him "No. I won't have that. I'll continue to water until we sell the place, and the railroad will remain." He hasn't run trains in weeks. He has no energy to do so, much less interest in them anymore. I think operating the controller causes him frustration. So many changes. I've got to learn to quit asking him to decide on things as it's becoming hard for him to choose one over the other.
Jane said…
I think that's one of the things I found the very hardest to begin with, to make decisions without asking what Ash thought. Now I do it without thinking and actually find it very liberating at times.