Patience once again pays dividends


We're still involved in Christmas preparations and I'm still learning the benefits of practicing patience, something which doesn't come easily at all.

All the cards we got ready on Saturday have been divided into three piles one of which was for posting.  That particular pile had been sitting on the kitchen table watching my every move and today was the day for adding the stamps.  

I was having a really busy day and almost left Ash to put those stamps on all of those envelopes by himself but, at the last minute, thankfully, I thought better of it.  Instead I slowed down, took a deep breath and suggested we did it together.  Five minutes later we sat either side of the table, Ash with the cards in front of him and me in charge of the stamps.  Ash took the cards off the pile one at a time, I handed him a stamp, made sure he stuck it in the right place and the right way up (not a foregone conclusion at all) then watched as he put it onto another pile before reaching for the next one. Not the quickest way of getting cards ready for posting but infinitely less stressful than the original plan and once again Ash felt part of the preparations and, more importantly, useful. 

The thing that made me just a little sad was that Ash, the man who was one of the worlds greatest problem solvers, really had no idea which way round to put the stamp no matter how long and how hard he stared at the envelopes he'd already done.  Each and every time he checked with me to make sure he'd got it right and that felt very wrong.

Don't forget you can share specific posts with others by clicking on the 3 dots at the top right hand corner of the page, you can share the blog by copying and pasting the web address or you can email me at if you have anything you want to say privately.  You can also now follow me on twitter, just search for Memory For Two, and you can find me on facebook


Rhona said…
I’m afraid all too often I now take the easy route and just do it all myself. The difficulty ken has with the simplest of tasks is equally heartbreaking and frustrating. Unfortunately this method of dealing with things is a poor solution and makes me very tired and stressed. I did all my cards and separated the post from hand delivered pile. Put stamps on the post gathered them all together....and posted ALL of them!
Michelle said…
On our way out today I drove and parked right alongside the village post box we always use, passed the pile of stamped cards to T and asked him to post them. He got out the passenger door, stood and looked at the pile in his hand, opened the rear car door and looked quizzically inside at the (grand)child seat. I asked what he was doing (I know! Not in the handbook!) and he just looked at me perplexed. I had to talk him through turning round, walking the 5 steps to the red box and putting them inside. Heartbreaking.
Jane said…
I too usually take the easy way out and do things myself but for some reason I it feels important this Christmas to take my time and include Ash. No idea why but maybe it's because none of it seems urgent and so we have the time.

and yes it is heartbreaking. Ash used to love Christmas and ours was full of traditions, surprises and joy. What we have now, like Ash himself, is a pale imitation of what used to exist in our lives.