Pride comes before a fall

 As you know I was very, very pleased with myself over my handling of Wednesday but I really should have known better.

Yesterday wasn't quite a disaster but we came close.  Ash was tired and confused from the moment he came downstairs in the morning and things didn't improve much.  He didn't want to walk with me, he didn't want to help with the wood but then shouted because I did it without him, he was sullen and cross almost all of the day and I really struggled to find something to put in the positivity pot last night.  I went to bed with a slightly heavy heart and dreading today.

This morning I resolved to do better and we've had a lovely day.  I'd love to be able to say that it was all down to my efforts but if I'm honest the day began on a better note and I just managed to keep it all on track.  We went into town this morning and there was conversation, smiles and photography.  After lunch we went to our favourite cafe at the beach and sat in the sunshine where there more photo opportunities and all was well in our world.  I drove the long way home still in the sunshine and Ash was completely relaxed when we got back.  

Nowadays I consider that an interesting and successful day but it also makes me reflect on how to create those sorts of days.  In  a perfect world I'd manage it to infinity and beyond but it's not a perfect world and I'm certainly far from perfect so I try to forget the bad days and focus on the good ones.  Today was a good day.

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Anonymous said…
I read your blog with envy in a way......maybe envy is not the right word but, perhaps I can explain.......last year my darling man and I went from little signs of forgetfulness to his passing in just six months. Now he is at peace while I cling on to amazing memories of more than 50 percent years together. I recognise the challenges you are dealing as Ash changes. For us it was a real downward slope with a “taster” of each of the stages of dementia rather than a perhaps more gradual decline. I do not know which is worse but I truly admire your positivity and resilience. I wish you well.
Jane said…
I'm so sorry for your loss but if I'm honest I know that feeling of envy but in reverse. The gradual decline takes it's toll and my memories of better times seem to fade the longer this goes on. This now is my normal and the man who was once my best friend is a distant memory. My mum once said to me 'at least you still have him' but I really, really don't. However at least we both have amazing memories and we should count ourselves lucky in that.