Exhaustion plus a visit to the vet - not a good combination
I had so many plans for today but things went awry from the very beginning when Ash got up for the first time at 5.15am.
At the suggestion that it wasn't time to get up he got straight back into bed but then was up again at 5.45 and then once more at 6.15 which is when I gave in and went down to make the tea.
Usually I have at least 45 minutes to myself before he's ready for tea but not this morning so no time to myself, combined with being woken at 5.15, sent my brain into lockdown from the off.
I really did make an effort to lift both the exhaustion and my mood by dressing nicely to go for my tanning session and then taking myself to one of my favourite coffee shops for a solitary cappuccino but, although it helped, it really didn't make the difference I'd hoped for so I knew I needed to come up with something else.
I've mentioned lots of things that make me smile but it has never occurred to me that clearing out the bed linen cupboard might be one of them. In the twilight world I was inhabiting today though it was a perfect, mindless activity which not only gave me a sense of achievement but also seemed to clear my head as much as anything else.
So by lunchtime I was feeling better but then we had to take Max to the vets once again for a check up following our adventures over Christmas. We were there two weeks ago and the infection had come back so he was given more tablets and this was just to make sure they'd worked. Unfortunately they hadn't and now he's to be referred to a specialist pet hospital two hours drive away.
Now's the time to tell you that it's not really Max I'm worried about at this point, it's the logistics of getting him there and all the planning that will have to go into the whole thing. Ash will want to come and I will have to agree to that but I don't yet have the details; because I don't have the details I can't start planning which means I'm feeling just a little out of control and you'll know by now that it's these times when, if I'm not very careful, I tend to go into freefall.
What I'm hoping for now is a very long, deep, undisturbed sleep tonight and, with that, everything will begin to look more manageable but just for now I'm uneasy about the whole thing and that's not good for either of us.
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