Another pleasant day today. Still no angry outbursts, still no sign of frustration but there were small things that took me by surprise a little.
We went shopping and, as you know, that's a useful barometer for where we are on this road with dementia.
So what were the small challenges? Well there was the trolley confusion because someone was in the process of putting one away and had chosen the line Ash had decided on; there was the time I'd told him to stay in one place while I fetched something from further down the aisle and then, when I turned round I almost tripped over the trolley he'd pushed to my heels; we got to the checkout and he couldn't work out how to open up the bag we'd taken with us; he couldn't work out how to put items into the bag and on and on. In fact I'd go so far as to say Ash seemed to be inhabiting another world throughout the whole shopping trip.
This afternoon there was more of the other world impression but, and this is the important thing, he was totally calm and seemingly happy and if that's how the decline in abilities is going to go that's fine by me. Once upon a time my heart would sink at the thought of what was to come but, right now, I can cope with this.
I'm also finding that the nicer Ash is to me the less I need to escape. I still go up to my room with my breakfast but that's because it takes me a while to come to in a morning, and I still need my weekly day out, but other than that I find we're spending much more time together and we seem to be enjoying each other's company.
As always I'm not completely relaxed about it and I'm not ready to let down my guard in case the hurt starts up all over again but for now this is much, much better than I've come to expect.
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