Care home adventure

 I started yesterday with a plan to go and look at one care home.  I'd chosen carefully and it was in the right area, seemed to have everything that Ash would need and the deputy, when I spoke to her on the phone, was lovely.  I was all set and confident.

The plan lasted right until around 9am when Jake messaged me to say he'd forgotten to leave his gate open and I wouldn't be able to get into his house.  As I'd planned to spend a couple of hours either side of my visit in perfect solitude I realised instantly I had to rethink so I factored in another couple of care homes in the area and off I set.

The first home, the one I'd chosen so carefully, was a non starter from the minute I walked in and inhaled.  I was asked to wait for a few minutes until the manager was free and I spent that time wondering whether it would be rude to just leave.  In the end I decided to stay, look and learn and the experience was very useful in showing me exactly what I didn't want. 

After that enlightening episode I went five miles down the road to a quite grand looking old house.  I was looking forward to this one but couldn't get past the door without an appointment.  It was pointedly suggested that I returned home, went on line and booked an appointment for a specific time and day next week so I left, never to return.

I then phoned my third choice.  I explained that I was half an hour away and asked if I could call in.  The lady I spoke to said that neither the manager or the deputy were in but if I called someone would show me around and then I could phone later to ask any questions I might have.  What a difference to home 2.  I went and the staff member who greeted me at the door was expecting me, she showed me around, gave me lots of information and was lovely.  Unfortunately that home too smelt.

Now maybe I'm being picky but the home my mum's currently in doesn't, and hasn't ever, smelt; the one she was in for respite before the permanent move didn't; the one Ash's mum was in didn't so, if they can manage to keep surroundings clean and fresh, why can't the others?  It's all very strange.

Anyway it was definitely a learning experience and I now know exactly what I don't want.  I also have others lined up to investigate and I'm not disheartened, mainly because I feel so much more aware of what must be out there if I look carefully enough.

Thanks for staying with me through all of this and I promise to keep you updated.  There won't be any more care home updates for a few weeks but as soon as there are you'll hear about them.

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Carol S said…
I don’t think you are being too picky Jane. This is most probably the hardest decision any of us are going to have to make and you have to feel comfortable with it. I’m glad you don’t sound too disheartened. I guess all this shows why it’s best not to leave the viewing of care homes til you’re at the point where it’s essential and you just have to go with what’s available at the time. Good luck with the search and I hope Ash can move on to a phase where he’s less needy of your continual attention.