It's a new day .......
..... and my head's in the right place once again so all is (almost) right in our world. Ash is happy and relaxed, the dog-walking check list is working and we're back on track. When I look back I think we've been building up to yesterday's outburst over the last couple of weeks and it was obviously necessary for Ash to get rid of some of his frustration. It's happened before and it's almost as though he comes to boiling point and needs a release for all those feelings so he prods, pushes and goads me until I snap and give him an excuse to shout at me until it's all out of his system and he can relax a little. The problem is that he's left feeling better (eventually) and me? Well I just feel drained and exhausted afterwards as well as guilty that I let it get to that point in the first place. I really should know better but sometimes it all gets too much and a controlled anger takes over. Anger that he doesn't acknowledge how much I do, anger that he doesn't notice how easy his life is and anger that he doesn't realise how much I've given up just to get us through each day. But then I shake myself, put my shoulders back and count my blessings of which there are many not least of all the place we live, the friends I have and the things I'm still able to do. There are people much worse off than me and it's only when I have a bad day like yesterday that I find myself in the depths of despair, when I hate my life and when I really wish this was over. Luckily those moments never last long and so you find me today almost back to my usual self.
Don't forget you can sign up to have this delivered straight into your inbox, just remember to click on the validation email (which may be in your junk mail/trash box). You can share specific posts with others by clicking on the 3 dots at the top right hand corner of the page, you can share the blog by copying and pasting the web address www.memoryfortwo.com or you can email me at email@example.com if you have anything you want to say privately. You can also now follow me on twitter, just search for Memory For Two, and you can find me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/Memory-for-Two-287197572048864.