The pork pie saga continues

 This morning we had a visit from Mark a lovely Admiral Nurse who's there to support us and give us ideas and strategies should we need them.  The very best news as far as I was concerned is that he knows about Contented Dementia and was interested in what I'd learned from the wonderful Penny Garner and then, on top of that, he took away with him some of my business cards showing details of the blog so that he can hand them out to other families he visits.  The visit was a great success in that Ash was happy to chat about his days at work but also happy to talk a little about his dementia which is a great step forward.  He's going to call on a regular basis now because it seems to me that since we've had professionals coming into the house Ash is getting more and more confident with talking about his dementia which, in turn, is making him more relaxed about it all.

Once Mark had left it was lunch time at which point Ash realised he hadn't taken a pork pie out of the freezer however when he came through to tell me he said that, as we were going shopping tomorrow, he'd wait and use the fresh ones we were going to buy.  I was so impressed with this joined up thinking that, briefly, I was speechless but quickly agreed that was a good idea and left him to get his sandwich before finding something for me to eat.  Half an hour later I went into the kitchen and found myself staring at  a frozen pork pie on the worktop!!  At that point Ash came through and began to explain why the pork pie was out of the freezer.  What happened next was entirely my fault and what on earth made me think he needed to be reminded of his original plan I have no idea but remind him I did and he replaced it in the freezer but the story doesn't end there because a few minutes later he came through, clearly distressed, to explain all over again why he had to get the pork pie out again and it dawned on me, far too slowly of course, that it didn't matter whether the one he ate tomorrow was a fresh one or a previously frozen one.  What mattered was that he knew without a doubt today that there would be pork pie for lunch tomorrow.  One of these days I'll learn.

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Comments

Dr2n said…
I also forget not to contradict or cross examine. But I'm getting better.
Jane said…
It's so hard isn't it, especially when you've been married a long time!!!
Carol said…
Sorry Jane, I have to comment on Contented Dementia & Penny Garner. I have been following your blog for a while and any mention of this makes me squirm and I have to say something. I contacted this lady about 3 years ago, soon after Mike’s diagnosis. We had lovely chat on the phone and she was going to contact me when there was a place on a course. Sadly that was the last I heard from her. I bought the book and yes, a lot of it resonates, but equally there is a lot that does not. Entering his world is impossible, I do not have a clue and at some point every day he is lucid and I need to reacquaint him with ‘our’ world. Maybe the course would have explained this, but it has been too long now and I could not leave him. I know we all have different experiences of everything and I am glad your was positive, mine was not.
Jane said…
I'm so sorry that was your experience with Penny and Contented Dementia Carol. As far as I'm concerned Penny and her team have shown nothing but kindness and every time I've had a question or needed support they've been there. I can see that not everything in the book will be for everyone but think, as with all of these things, you use the bits that work for you and leave the bits that you're not comfortable with. For me the three main points at the very beginning are the things I stick with as much as I can but, and you'll know this from following the blog, I don't always manage it. What I do find though is that the times I go off track are the times that are the most difficult to cope with.