A busy afternoon
The old Ash rarely snored and especially not once he gave up alcohol but recently, every so often, he has and nothing I could do, no digs in the ribs, no thumping on his back, would wake him up and make him stop so I took to moving into the 7 year old's bedroom when it all became too much. Only every so often you understand and only when I couldn't get back to sleep but move I did and I wasn't particularly happy about it. Our bed is huge; super kingsize in fact and I love it partly because Ash made it. It sits on the floor and the mattress is firm and comfortable, just the way I like it. Not only that but the bedroom is just as I like it too and moving out in the middle of the night to sleep surrounded by toys and under a Lego quilt cover wasn't quite the same. It wasn't a grown up room and the 7 year old's mattress moved too much for me to feel really comfortable. I couldn't see a way out of the situation though because that room was created especially for him and when he comes over almost the first thing he does is take himself upstairs, settle himself down for half an hour to explore everything in it before coming down and joining the grown ups. Having thought and thought about it I decided that my disturbed nights didn't happen often enough to warrant any major changes so put it to one side to be investigated some other time. That was until this morning when I'd spent the third night in a row in the bright and cheerful room fit for a 7 year old and decided I needed to do something but what? I really do work on the assumption that there is a solution to every problem if I just think hard enough and sure enough I came up with an idea. I decided that I could create a room which would be a grown up room the majority of the time but, almost with a snap of the fingers, could turn into a bedroom fit for a 7 year old when it was needed. The walls of the room are white, the floor boards are white and really all that was needed was a grown up quilt cover to replace the Lego one, a new blind, the toys and books putting into boxes and packing away somewhere easily accessible and a picture to put on the wall over the decal that makes it appear that the plaster has come away and Lego bricks are bursting out. This afternoon I set to and cleared the books and the toys, I replaced the quilt cover with a beautiful duck egg blue one that I had in a cupboard, I put the blue blind up which I'd bought to go with the Lego quilt cover and which goes equally well with the grown up one and I ordered a lovely new canvas to go on the wall. The only thing still left to get is a new mattress which is as nice and as firm as the one I have to leave behind. Now all that's needed when the 7 year old comes to stay is for me to get the toys and books out, remove the picture from the wall and change the quilt cover and the rest of the time I have a beautiful new bedroom whenever I need one. I must say I'm feeling very pleased with myself and am almost hoping Ash snores tonight so I can move in.
Comments
To be able to maintain strength to cope with things but I feel for Ash
too should he wake in the night wondering where he is and alone. I would
use ear plugs and get my sleep at other times. It is hard but having witnessed a loved one move through
Dementia the period when they knew that they were doing and saying silly
things was frustrating and terrifying for them.
For now I'm comfortable with what I'm doing for several reasons. Because we live in a very old cottage with creaking floor boards I hear Ash the minute he opens the bedroom door so can get up to him if I think I need to; we only have two bedrooms and the doors are directly opposite each other so I leave the door open and he can see me in there; I've put a clock in our room which shows the day/date/time and lights up the room - if I'm in bed it's off until we wake in the morning but if I move rooms I plug it in just to give him some sort of anchor if he wakes up on his own.
So I think I've covered all bases right now but I also know that situations change and when this one does I'll be there for him. Until then I like to think I'm caring for him while also looking after me.