In better shape

 I have to admit that I was still feeling a little sorry for myself this morning, still wishing Ash was the person he used to be, still wishing he'd look at me with the old glow in his eyes but wishing is no use and I'm mostly rooted in reality so I gave myself a mental shake and once again picked up the reigns to get on with things.  Having decided that I sat at the computer and had a look at a photo I'd taken of myself yesterday which I quite liked.  For a long time I hated photos of me because I didn't like what I saw but had no idea how to change and very little motivation to make any of those that were necessary so the easiest thing was to hide from the camera and shut the other thoughts out too.  Then I started to lose weight and get fit and suddenly I felt better about myself so a few photos began to appear and I didn't mind them.  This morning then I looked for yesterday's photo and there, alongside it, was one taken just before Christmas 2019, almost exactly 13 months ago and I couldn't believe the difference, not just in my weight but the whole look of me, and I was amazed at what I saw.  The thing is that I've done this in the middle of what's, arguably, the most difficult time of my life and I think by taking myself in hand I've saved my sanity too.  I gave myself something positive to think about, something other than dementia to focus on, and it was/is one of the best things I've ever done.  Look at the photos and see what you think.  For me they put everything else into perspective.  

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Comments

Sarah H said…
Amazing - you’ve lost a few years! xx
Marcia said…
You look great! And very healthy!
Tehachap said…
I lost 30 lbs. last year and have endeavored to keep them off and continue to work at losing another 20 lbs. You look great! I'm like you used to be -- I hate having my picture taken. Always have... probably always will. Glad I found you -- as my husband disappears mentally, I have to pick up the reins (as you say) and move forward. Thanks for being here.
Carol said…
Wow Jane, that is such a difference! Your mood is there in both photos. Well done you for doing things for yourself, it makes a huge difference, rather than just being weighed down by dementia. I have to give myself a mental shake often!
Jane said…
I think we all have to give ourselves mental shake every so often but it's the ability to do that which gets us through all this and ready for life on the other side. I think in the past I've relied far too much on Ash both for physical tasks and for my mental well-being. This has been a great opportunity to do things for myself.
Carol S. said…
Wow Jane. The change is incredible . You look so much younger - infact a totally different person and so much more confident. I’ve been comfort eating myself and need to lose about 2 stone. I’m going to keep looking at your photos as inspiration. There are so many things we have no control of but as you’ve shown, no matter what is going on around you, it is possible to take charge of your own health - and that has to benefit everyone.
Thank you for sharing.
Jane said…
I've been overweight for years but Ash never seemed to mind (and put on a few pounds himself) so it didn't bother me but with dementia in our lives his interest in me waned to zero and I had to find a way to love myself and my body. Luckily lockdown came at just the right moment for me and it was a case of 'now or never'. I found the right diet for me and the right form of exercise for me and haven't looked back. The biggest bonus is that it focuses my mind on the future rather than the past.