A morning off!!!

Our second day with the carer today and, once again, it seems to have gone rather well.  I hope I know better by now than to expect it to go perfectly every week but I do feel we're making progress.  I had a plan of course, a plan which would explain, on a basic level, why I'd gone out and a plan which I hoped would ease us into a new way of living.

This week, on advice from others, I didn't mention L coming until 9am (she was due at 9.30) and that worked because Ash didn't have time to panic.  He thought he might wait until she arrived and then take her for a walk with the dog but he wasn't sure where to go.  At that point I reminded him that he'd promised her, if she brought her wellies this week, he'd take her down through the wood at the other end of the village and he seemed pleased with that idea.  L arrived and off they went with the only slightly sticky bit coming when I said I might be out when they got back but we got him out of the house and I took myself off in the other direction leaving him a note saying I'd gone for a walk with a friend and letting him know what time I'd be back.  This is something I do two or three times each week so it would make perfect sense to him and I made sure he saw me picking up my walking boots before he left even though I had no intention of doing anything as strenuous as that.

I have to tell you that I had a lovely morning with a tanning session followed by a drive up the coast to my favourite cafe where I drank cappuccino in the sunshine while reading my book.  This was only the second day since last October when I've had time by myself without worrying about how Ash was and what he was doing and it was wonderful.  I got back at 1pm to find them getting ready to go on another walk (L is going to be super fit very, very soon I think) and there was a slightly weird moment when Ash looked at me as if wondering who I was and what I was doing in his kitchen but if this means I get a day off a week I can live with that.  

Next week it's my mum's birthday so I'm planning on having the whole day out, spending some of it with her and the rest relishing the peace, quiet and time with my own thoughts.  I  might even go and look at hedge trimmers!

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Carol Westover said…
My birthday is next Wed. Wish your mother a Happy Birthday for me! Will you be able to do something with her while L stays with Ash?
Jane said…
it's not actually her birthday until the following Monday but my day off seems a good time to visit her. Won't be doing anything with her other than visiting her in her care home partly because I don't think she can go out yet but also, selfishly, I don't want to escape from here just to go through the same thing with mum. That's not a good thing to admit but she's 92 on 26th and I really don't want the responsibility of taking her out. The other thing is that her care home really is the loveliest place. In 'normal' times (ie not covid affected) I would go to visit and stay for lunch which we could eat in the bar that is part of the communal area. this meant it was a little like going out for a bar meal but knowing that she was safe and I could call for help if I needed it. Anyway this will be my first day off since December so I plan to make the most of it. my only real problem is that there's so much I want to do that I'm not sure exactly what to choose and in what order. watch this space for the detail after the event.
Carol S. said…
I think you are so right Jane. Your day off is to recharge your batteries which will help both you and Ash. I know from experience that taking very elderly, frail parents out can be a real responsibility and overall more stressful than relaxing. As this is your only day off a visit to the carehome is, I think, the best solution and all three of you gain from it. Wishing you a lovely day. We’ve only just recently been able to start visiting my partners parents’ carehome and sit out in the garden. They thought that was wonderful so I’m hoping this good weather continues 🤞.
Jane said…
Fingers crossed indeed. I'm hoping for warm and sunny weather on Thursday and if I'm lucky enough to get it I'm going to buy nice things to eat and tuck myself away in a secluded corner for my very own picnic.